you are not superhuman

You are human. Simply. Obviously, right? Everyone understands that… maybe? If that’s such a simple concept to grasp, then why do people act like they aren’t. This world is filled with both over and under achievers. Most people don’t want to admit it, but you are likely either pushing yourself too hard, or not enough. Either way, you are setting yourself up for failure.

With the new year starting, everyone is making new goals and resolutions, setting them up for the “perfect” year. This “perfect” scenario only goes so far. If you haven’t realized, there’s a very low percentage of people that actually go through with the goals they make for themselves for the new year. It’s odd that many of us actually just expect for our new year’s resolutions to fail, but hey it’s a good thought though, right?

We as human beings, just human beings, tend to set goals for ourselves, that really are so out of reach. We tend to set goals that portray what our own idea of a perfect life is. We think meeting these goals will make our life perfect, that’s why we make them. The thing is, people don’t think realistically when planning them out, all they have in mind is the end goal. People react in two ways when they are given too much to handle, either they put every single ounce of effort they have into that ONE thing, or don’t even attempt to take charge of the situation.

Superhuman. You think you can do everything. You make goals, set a plan, everything fits a tight, but perfect schedule. These people will do their all to make everything in their life ideal, no matter what the consequences. News flash, it doesn’t work. You get burnt out. There’s no way you can take on everything. No matter what the strive is, there is a point where it is all too much. You can’t expect yourself to do the job of three people. There is a point where everything will likely fall apart. Then what?

One of the hardest things with this is you feel you have done everything, yet it’s still not enough. Well, yes, this is true, but it’s because everything needs moderation. You have to begin things as a beginner. You can’t go into things thinking immediately you will be a master. It’s not realistic.

This is something I often do to myself. I get an image in my head of my perfect life. My utopia. I start setting goals for myself, thinking of everything I can do to make this possible. I always fail. Always. I burnout. This fall, I thought I was superhuman. I started the school year with a full schedule, and cross country season getting started. I was planning out my weeks, making everything perfect, as long as I followed it to the T. I failed. I’m sick, yet expected myself to do everything, perfectly. I ended up having to drop a class, which took all of my pride. I was humiliated. The only thought I had that whole week was how everyone now thinks I’m stupid, like I am not smart enough for that class. No one knew how sick I was. To them, I just was just dumb. I know I am smart enough, but I can’t do everything, believe me I wanted to. On top of that, I ended up not being able to finish my cross country season. That was one of the worst things, in my mind, that I could have possibly done. I felt defeated, it was awful. Everyone thought I was just too lazy, like I was slacking and skipping simply because I wanted to. Trust me, I didn't, but I just couldn’t do it. I am not superhuman.

Next, there’s the opposite. Subhuman. You know you can’t do everything, therefore you don’t do anything. These people sulk around in their own life, knowing life could be so much more, but not even trying. This, I have to say, is a really hard place to be. Your mind is beating you up, knowing what your perfect life would look like, but you have already decided it impossible. Now here you are, doing nothing, hoping it will fix everything. Not gonna happen. So there you stay, trapped in your own thoughts.

Now this, this is a deep hole to be in, self dug, that is. Getting out of this hole is no cake walk. No matter how badly you want to meet your goal and have the perfect life, it seems too far fetched, so why even try? Like I’ve said before, it’s the start that stops you. The key is, little victories. Take one step at a time. Minimize your goal, make it appear accomplishable. You have to hit a point where you are SO over living, feeling like a failure, to then step up and make a change. Make that your motivation.

Lately, I have experienced this so much. After being defeated all fall, I hit rock bottom, and stayed there. I completely stopped running, stopped putting the extra effort into school, even quit putting effort into friendships and relationships. Nothing mattered anymore. I tried and failed, so why try again? I am still working my way out of this funk, it is extremely hard, let me tell ya. After getting booted back to online school, I lost hope. I didn’t have to wake up and go to a classroom, so I’d stay in bed, for days. I was, and still am, so far behind in school, that it no longer feels like I can catch up. And it’s all. my. fault. A week or two ago, I spent all day working on school work, to still have uncompleted work. I was feeling overwhelmed and like a failure. I actually told my mom I was going to try to run, stood up, almost fell over, my vision blurred and my head went spacey, yet I still decided to run. I knew it would give me the opportunity to think and, believe it or not, relax. I took the time to clear my mind and ended up running way too far, seven miles. It felt so good, in the moment that is. An hour or two after the run, I was throwing up, with the worst headache, my body was shaking and I had a racing heart rate. I spent the rest of the night crying wondering why I couldn’t be “normal” and why my body had to punish me for trying to just take a step in the right direction.

I am learning that it is all about finding the happy medium. The space between being an over and under achiever. You have to strive for what you want, but in moderation. Don’t start out with the end in mind, but the journey it will take to get there. Little victories are still victories. You aren’t superhuman, but don’t let yourself be subhuman.

In reality, we need to learn to not be so hard on ourselves. No one is perfect, no matter how it may seem. I feel like that is something everyone needs to realize, especially now. Everyone is going through something. Give yourself a break, you’re doing your best, just be careful to not let yourself get too low, keep moving forward. You are not superhuman, and that’s okay.