a command to rest

“If everything happens for a reason, I’d hate to know the reason behind all of this…”

This week, on what I thought was an ordinary Tuesday morning, I got my fifth concussion.

Five.

Those of you who know me know that my heath history all began with a bump to my head.

And then came three more, all within the next two years.

And this week, I got my fifth.

I kept thinking, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

I kept thinking, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

I keep asking, “Why?”

Why this? And why now?

Maybe the answer to that isn’t, “It was an accident.”

Maybe God has a reason.

And maybe, that reason being, “It was to force you to slow down.”

Once I slowed down…

Once I slowed down, I realized that my eyes were no longer focusing, and my head didn’t feel quite right.

Once I slowed down, I realized that this little hit did much more damage than I anticipated.

Once I slowed down, the first thing I felt was anger.

Because I should have known better.

Known better than to have put myself in a position where something like this could happen.

But, I was just living my life.

And now, because of that, I am not going to be able to live the life I expected to live for the rest of this school year.

My last school year.

But, God commanded me to stop.

Because He knew I couldn’t do it all.

And once I slowed down I realized, this was the only way He could get me to step back and see it too.

A command to rest

“We get tired and worn out; our immune system starts to falter, miss a step. Another cold. It’s like our nervous systems are trying to get our attention…

Yet we push on. Until, inevitably, we crash.”

“Maybe that’s why God eventually has to command the Sabbath. Doesn’t that strike you as odd? It’s like commanding ice cream or live music or beach days. You would think we’d all be chomping at the bit to practice the Sabbath. But apparently there’s something about the human condition that makes us want to hurry our way through life as fast as we possibly can, to rebel against the limitations of time itself. Due to our immaturity, dysfunction, and addiction, God has to command His people to do something deeply life giving–rest.”

(The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, by John Mark Comer)

It’s always go-go-go, until it’s stop-stop-stop.

And we crash.

Or should I say, God commands us to rest.

And sometimes, the only way to do that is by allowing us to crash.

I crashed. Hard.

I’ll admit, I saw it coming.

That book I just quoted, I’ve read it three times in the past year.

(along with about 8 pages of notes and a final essay I wrote on it)

I knew what I was doing wasn’t going to work.

I knew the wrath of hurry.

But, I just had to get through this week.

Then the next week.

And the one after that.

And the one after that.

I just had to get through this life.

Then I could rest.

But, that’s not what God commands of us.

He commands us to rest now.

Not once the hurry train comes to a stop.

(Because–spoiler alert–it never really does.)

“When we fight this work-six-days, sabbath-one-day rhythm, we go against the grain of the universe…

and if you go against the grain of the universe, you get splinters.”

Crashes, in a way, are a blessing

This concussion, I see as a blessing.

Because He allowed this, now.

All so that I wouldn’t reap the consequences that would have been worse later.

(Because I can’t do it all.)

I’m lucky.

And I’m thankful for this chance to step back.

Because disappointments allow us to see things through a different lens,

in a way we never did before, and never would have without.

I now have the chance to live not only up to my potential, but my limitations as well.

Because I can’t do it all.

And neither can you.

And attempting to do everything only results in doing nothing.

So yeah, maybe bad things do happen to good people.

And maybe God does force us to step back sometimes.

But that step back is really a step forward.

(It just takes a look through a different lens to see it.)

All things work together for good

Romans 8:28

“The law of unintended consequences.”

“Simply put, the outcome of our actions have unintended consequences that are beyond our ability to control, beyond our ability to predict.”

(If, by Mark Batterson)

Since the term “consequence” often gets a bad wrap, let me set the record straight:

Consequences can be bad, but they also can be good.

Even the consequences that, upon first glance, seem badder than bad…

Can be used for good.

I didn’t think that this concussion was anything other than an unlucky consequence for being a little (lot) bit too reckless.

The enemy intended to use this consequence to harm, but God’s intention is to use it to grow.

To put it metaphorically, Mark Batterson summarized very well:

“In chess, sometimes you have to take a step back in order to take a step forward, lose a piece in order to gain a piece.”

Tuesday morning, I thought getting hit in the head was the worst possible thing that could have happened to me at that moment.

Now, I think it may be the best.

This “unintended” consequence was fully intended by God.

It ruined my plan, but I’ve got to say, I’m glad it did.

Because I don’t want my plan to succeed if God has a better one.

So, the reason behind all this “bad”...?

God’s going to use it all for good.